Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Every concussion has its silver lining
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
