If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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