After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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