I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
