I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
