he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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