wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
