I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
