I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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