Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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