last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
we should paint friendship bongs
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