and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
