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i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
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