Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Here’s Why Hotel Photos On Travel Websites Are A Complete Hoax
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick