i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.