i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
