I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
