wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
