So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
