honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
