I just pynch a tree in the face
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
