I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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