i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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