Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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