sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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