she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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