Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
