You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
