yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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