come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
handjob tips. give me some.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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