I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Randomize