explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
last night I used snow as a chaser
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