i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
