i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
