I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
