I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
