I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
can u get pink eye on your cock?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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