You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
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