I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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