if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
