Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
