I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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