So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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