return my video game
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
