Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
