So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
