Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
