P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
