see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Randomize
