I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
