thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
