I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
