So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
