We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
