Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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