best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
