I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize