I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
