She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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