i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
