Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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