Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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