I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My vagina is officially offended.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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