i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Everclear isn't food dammit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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